The new home of "The Frank Report."

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  Believe it or not I've made it through an entire week of getting up at 5:15 in the morning! Those who know me well, will understand what a heroic accomplishment this is. The scary thing is: I *like* exercising at 6 in the morning; although I doubt I'd be able to do it without having the support of a group.

Last night I broke down and slept for 8 hours - waking up only briefly to scarf down some of my roommate's leftover meatloaf and mashed potatoes. What a difference a few hours of sleep makes! This morning, after our workout, I was singing "oh, what a beautiful morning" all the way home.

Today, after stretching, we ran up and down hills and then did assisted push-ups against planters before running off to a raised bar planted in the ground and doing more push-ups and crunches. After that it was another run over to picnic tables where we did dips, and then a final run over to the playground equipment to do assisted bicep and tricep exercises.

Because Cindy and I both have problems with shin splints we were allowed to run on the grass rather than the road. That helped, although my shins are a tad sore this morning and I'll be looking into buying wraps this weekend. The good news is that all of us have made it through the first week and no one has quit. I even know everyone's name (I'm slow on the uptake like that): Ann, Mike, Cindy and Rob.

Because I had to leave a bit early today to ferry someone to the airport, I skipped the final set of stretches. Boy, did I feel it when I got back home! I immediately dropped to the living room floor and tried to stave off the pain before it got any worse. Word to the wise: if you're gonna do the Sergeant's Program. Do your stretches! The dogs were happy to have me down on their level for once and were lavish with their kisses.

I'm already starting to see some changes - not huge ones - but noticeable nonetheless. My legs (why-oh-why) are bigger and my stomach is a tad flatter. Despite that, I have been drooling over the thought of going off my diet this weekend and plan to smother myself with Coke's, fries, and hot fudge brownie sundaes. I only let myself "cheat" on the weekends and all these early morning workouts are making me ravenously hungry. Seriously. Seriously hungry, in a club-the-duck-with-a-thigh-bone, Neanderthal, cave-man type of way.
posted at 12:53 PM

  Did legs at the gym yesterday and seriously feeling it today. In retrospect, probably not the best thing to do before a running day for The Sergeant's Program.

Newscasters were predicting a very cold, blustery morning and so I bundled up with several layers of sweats and thermals. Most of which, it turns out, were unnecessary and made the stretching exercises unduly difficult. For some reason that I can't quite figure out it seems to keep getting lighter earlier and earlier each morning. Logically, I know this is not the case, but my eyes, they will not be denied.

Because I was so sleep deprived, I hit a curb while parking my car this morning (more on this later), I did my usual walk around the park as a warm-up, but when I saw that everyone was assembling had to double-time it to our spot on the grass to be there before the 6:00:00 am cut-off time. No extra push-ups for me, thank you very much!

Most of yesterday's rain had been absorbed by this point. Only my shoes were getting all squishy. I dread the morning when it's actually hella-cold and we're down in the damp muck, freezing and wet. We did our usual stretches. I'm beginning to notice that the women surpass the men in this regard. Don't know if it's a gender thing, but my hamstrings are a screaming mess whenever I try to touch my toes. Maybe that will improve with time.

For the first time since Day 1, we had a full class - which was a pleasant surprise. It really helps build the team morale.

After stretches, the rest of the class went off on a 2-mile run through the neighborhood, while I double-timed it over to the track to run on a cushioned, shin-splint resistant surface. One of the gym instructors for the high school was out there doing sprints. I am very envious of his full-out $$$ Nike wardrobe. All my clothes are mismatched and chosen for warmth rather than style. Perhaps when my "fitness revolution" is over I will deck myself out in duds befitting my new status as body czar.

My goal was to run 7 laps around the track or 20 uninterrupted minutes of running, whichever came first. Since I didn't have a watch (another to-do item for the weekend), I had to guestimate how I was doing, and based on how quickly the sun came up it felt like I was out there for an hour. I did 6 laps, only stopping once to walk 1/4 of a lap, which is a new personal best for me, so I'm feeling pretty stoked today. No shin splints, either. Another small miracle.

After my laps, I double-timed it back to our site, passing all the advanced classes along the way. There was no sign of my fellow "recruits" so I did stretched (yes!) while I waited. It turns out that Cindy also has a problem with her shins and ran on the grass alongside the sidewalk the whole way. So no more private runs at the track for me. (It probably also means an end to that brief walking rest in the middle of the run).

While we were doing our second set of stretches someone pointed out a parked car with a flat tire. Remember how I mentioned how I hit a curb on the way in? Guess whose car it was.

We finished up with an insane amount of crunches. I've felt soreness in my abs before, but I've never felt a burn. It was not pleasant. My first thought was that something had gone horribly wrong. My second thought was "Oh, so this is what a hard ab workout feels like".

Mike, the guy recovering from rotator cuff surgery, has definitely hurt his shoulder so he gets out of push-ups from here on out. Wish I could say I envy him, but I'm starting to enjoy my steadily increasing chest strength. Last night, as part of my homework, I banged out 25. Two weeks previous, I was struggling with 15. Small progress, but I'll claim it.

After the workout, all the men gathered around to do with the issue of my flat tire. It was pretty embarrassing to pop my trunk and reveal that the well holding my spare tire was partially filled with water and that the spare, jack and wrench were all a barely-serviceable rusted mess. It was almost like a bad joke that it took 3 recruits and the instructor to change a flat tire. Three recruits because all our hands were cold, and our backs, arms and shoulders were so tired, and one instructor to tell us how to do it.

In some twisted way, I think the rusted jack and trunk full of stagnant water are a metaphor for my life - specifically my physical health. In that vein, the tire was changed, I limped home with time to spare and everything: tire, jack, wrench, trunk will be upgraded before the week is out.

I've found that I'm ravenously hungry in the morning. Today I made healthier food choices and stopped by the local cafeteria to load up at the fruit buffet. Three of my fellow recruits aren't turning in reports on what they're eating each day. I think the Sarge is going to flip his lid when he finally finds out what they've been hiding. Ann had a rum and coke (how did she get away with that!?!) and had to endure some good natured ribbing about it this morning. I think the Sarge's comment about "eating more than twigs and berries" was about me. Man is not made of slim fast shakes and power bars alone.

My exhaustion now knows no limits. I took a half-hour nap last night that put me behind schedule for the whole evening, and napped fitfully on the way in this morning. I may skip tonight's homework run. I. Have. Got. To. Get. Some. Sleep. When I found out that Cindy and Ann were in bed by 8:30 PM my jaw almost hit the grass. When the Sarge found out that I've never in bed before 11, he went off on a stern lecture about "lifestyle changes" and "the health benefits of sleep."

Never in all my life did I think that someone would have to go out of their way to tell me about the positive and healthy benefits of sleep. The world has truly gone mad! I'm actually starting to enjoy being up at the crack of dawn and exercising....if only I could just get one extra hour of sleep this week. Just one!

(In case you were wondering, the Sarge is in bed by 8:30pm and up by 3:30 AM for his workout. Now that's hard core!)

posted at 10:05 AM

  Up at 5:15 this morning, and was not a happy camper. When am I finally going to get a chance to catch up on sleep? Since it rained all of last night, I packed an exercise mat instead of the basic towel. There was no way I was going to lay in that mud, get soaked and catch a chill. I've noticed that I've developed a slight cough and hope that it's something that will go away on it's own. My mind races: is my air at work too dry? do a I need a humidifier? or do I need a space heater for when I sleep at night to keep away the chill? Should I wrap my scarf tighter when working out? Etc. etc. Blech! I'm glad to get there this morning, just so I can get my mind out of its neurotic rut.

The park is deserted this morning. Apparently Wednesday is a big run day for the maintenance class people and they were all off running through the woods, down side streets or whatever it is they do. I walk my usual lap around the park. I'm still cautious about my shins. Especially after having run twice yesterday and I don't want to stress them.

I'm thinking that the Sarge will have us lay out in the parking lot where there's less water, but to everyone's surprise, we're out on the mud and the grass. Cindy from yesterday isn't with us, but Bob (?) is back. It's hard for an absence to go unnoticed in a class of this size.

After stretches we do push-ups and I'm really starting to feel them. Then we get up and start running. That's when I do a mental double-take. Running?!?!? It's not a running day. I specifically didn't wear my running shoes because it's a non-running day. The ones that I have on are totally inappropriate and potentially injury-causing. No one can hear my shouting inside the confines of my own skull, so I just take the shortest and smoothest steps possible and try to keep up. Bob who was out yesterday is happily out in front of the pack with the Sarge. Guess you have that type of energy when you skip running day and running homework.

The Sarge has us running down a hill and then back up. Bob skips the last bit at the end, and I want to tattle but figure, if it didn't work in grammar school, it's not going to work here. I just push a little further down the very end instead, before beginning my trek back up the hill.

At the top of the hill, we do 20 incline push-ups against a large planter. I'm doing pretty good at this point but Rob and Ann are sucking wind. We get sent down and back up the hill, and I start to realize that exercises are a lot harder when you don't put any breaks in between them. I try to strip off my windbreaker, but the group is already jogging along to the next exercise. What's the point of dressing in layers if you don't have any time to take them off or put them back on, I ask myself? But I stow my grumbling and try and catch up with the group.

We go immediately into doing bench dips which are further wiping out group. I'm tired but holding my own. My mind is fixated zealously on one thing and one thing only: protect my shins. I think I would have made an excellent goalie or linebacker; that's the type of obsession, I bring to these shins.

After 2 sets of bench dips, we double time it over to the children's playset where Ann and I do modified bicep/tricep curls while Bob and Rob hit the grass and do 75 crunches. From the groans I hear behind me, I get the impression that this huge number of crunches is not going well or coming easy. After that we switch and I bless my friends for having me focus on abs for the past two months. My crunches are coming smoothly and effortlessly.

After this, we double time it yet again back to our starting point, where we're allowed a brief hit of water, before moving on to stretches and more exercise. Makes me wonder why they gave us a water bottle and told us to bring it in the first place. We never really have a chance to stop and take a sip.

We're back to doing push-ups and it's painfully obvious to me that none of us has any strength left. Worse, is when the Sarge has us hold the "up" position of the push-up, then lower to HALF-WAY (!!!!!) and hold it, then back up and hold, then lower to half and hold. The Sarge is focused on doing the exercises, because if he had looked up he would have seen that most of us were in various combinations of resting on our knees or our stomachs.

As we continue on, Bob goes out on a shoulder injury. Rob follows soon after with a back injury and Ann is lying face down in the wet grass, too exhausted to lift her head. I'm thinking to myself that this is bad, but imagine what it's going to be like when I get to the gym tonight to do an intensive leg workout, followed by another sleep-deprived night, running day and running homework. I'm beginning to rethink this idea of 2 workouts per day. This is the type of stuff that makes high school football players drop dead of a heart attack.

I flew home after this morning's workout and slapped ice packs on my shins. Felt good on the way to work. Better after I heard about the election results and celebrated by having a ham, egg and cheese sandwich with my co-workers. Now I'm sitting here wondering how many push-ups I'll have to do tomorrow morning when the Sarge hears about how I've broken my diet.

How come the models in all the fitness magazines don't look as neurotic as I feel?
posted at 9:36 AM

  Set my alarm for 5:15 (willingly! actively! insanely!) and couldn't believe it when the alarm went off. It was a struggle to get out of bed and I almost dozed back off - a disaster in the making. At that point one of my "flaws" kicked in to become a strength. I normally wake-up to make a trip to the bathroom once during the evening; something to do with the 16+ glasses of water I'm drinking daily. This time I didn't, and the call of nature became a "back-up alarm clock" that I very grateful for.

No dogs this time. Steve had them locked up. The last morning, after I left, they were so disappointed about not being able to get up and go out when I left, that they went into his room and took out their frustrations on him. He was having none of it today and had them all locked in his bedroom.

It was a damp morning and all the windows on my car were fogged. Who knew life at 5:30 am was filled with so many frustrations? I made a mental note to pack an extra towel just for window de-fogging. Got to the track at 5:45, walked a lap and began some stretches. It's very spooky out there at that hour with no one around. My fellow "recruits" dress in dark colors, so it was tough to see them in the gloom. I noticed the Sarge sitting in his car with the engine running. Considering that he only wears a sweatshirt and shorts, I don't blame him. I'm out there with full-thermals, gloves, cap, scarf, sweats, shorts and t-shirt. My mother and all my grandmothers would be proud.

We began our workout with a bit of anxiety. Two of our members were missing; leaving us with only three. From what I've heard, five is the minimum number for a class and most are noticeably larger. It was a strange, "uh-oh" moment. The Sarge didn't let it dissuade him. We were down in the wet grass stretching and contorting in no time; and joined by one of our missing members mid-way through.

Afterwards, we had a "get to know you" moment, standing around introducing ourselves and talking about our backgrounds. One of our members is retired army, as is the instructor, who likes to run the class in order to help people achieve their fitness goals. Admirable and definitely what I'm there for. I'm all for achieving fitness goals at this point.

We're also required to turn in a write-up of what we had to eat the day before. Presumably to help keep us on the straight and narrow. What's that point of doing all this exercise if you're just going to scarf down cheeseburgers for lunch?

After stretching, it was time to hit the track. 2 laps around doing a combination of jogging and walking (mostly jogging/little walking). This was the moment of truth for me, seeing if my shins were up to the challenge. I quickly found out that jogging outdoors in the cold is much different from running on a treadmill in a warm gym. For one, the earth doesn't move beneath me automatically. I have to do that hard work myself. Another is that sucking in cold air while jogging is an added challenge than just gulping air at room temperature.

Ann and Rob were out front setting a good pace. Cindy (who was late) and I were in the back, "keeping it real." Soon, Cindy was dropping further and further behind. I was torn between staying behind to keep her company or keeping up with the pace and chose the pace. For the final quarter lap, I pushed it out and blew past Ann and Rob. Hopefully it didn't come across as me wanting to be "Sergeant's Pet".

We stretched some more and were sent on our way - feeling pretty good - with homework: 30 minutes running at home!!!! I was hoping to use Tuesday and Thursday nights as my "catch up on sleep" nights. Guess that plan is out the window! I've needed to make a trip to the grocery store to stock up on fat-free goods for several nights now. The trip to Chicago through me off schedule, and tonight's homework meant that I might not make it until the weekend.

That night it rained so I have no idea how my fellow classmates managed to finish their runs. My back was sore (has been for over a week now), so I had to spend 15 minutes on stretches before and after my run in order to make sure I could complete my homework and be ready for class Wednesday.

It seems like all my free time is spent on exercise, eating for exercise, stretching for exercise, and packing and unpacking workout gear. Didn't get to bed until 11. Knew I would be hating it the next day.

posted at 9:05 AM

  Despite going to bed early and my innate tendency towards hibernation, I was having trouble sleeping the night before the first class. Every hour, I woke up, looked at the clock, and reminded myself that I had to get to sleep because I wouldn't be getting much naptime for the rest of the week. Maybe it was the nap I took earlier in the day that through me off, or pre-class jitters, but by the time the alarm went off, I was relieved to be up and "just do it."

As an older and wiser man, I knew from experience that if you're going to get up at crack-thirty in the morning, it's best to have all your clothes and gear laid out in advance. Nothing is worse than stumbling around in a stupor unable to get dressed.

I was amazed that I was able to get dressed and out the door in 15 minutes. The dogs were completely stupefied, thinking that there must be some sort of major squirrel crisis going on in the front yard in order for me to be up this early. And with much enthusiasm, they let me know.

Surprisingly, there is a world full of crazy people who are up and on the go at 5:45 in the morning. I-395 was mobbed. I hadn't even showered. Who were these people who were not only up but had showered, dressed for work, had coffee, read the newspaper, and were commuting to work? I didn't have much time to think about it because 15 minutes later, Boot Camp, Sergeant's Program style was a reality.

Post-boot camp, graduates are encouraged to join the maintenance program, which is an ongoing early morning group outdoor exercise program. It was easy to tell who was there for the maintenance program, and who were the clueless newbies. I was amazed to see that there were several classes of maintenance program running. Like our Homo Sapien forebears who pushed out the Cro Magnans to take over the world, I firmly believe that type-A, early morning fitness fanatics will one day come to rule the gene pool; the ultimate revenge of the homecoming quarterback and his cheerleading, prom queen mate.

Our instructor, Sergeant Sikora, got us all checked in and sent us out for a quick lap around the park to get us warmed up. No stranger to the wonders of shin splints and the importance of warming up and stretching before a run, I made my lap "walk-only." My fellow recruits tackled their lap with gusto.

We made introductions and then "double-timed" our way over to where we would "form up" and exercise. It's then that I started to realize that running would not be limited to Tuesday and Thursday as originally promised.

We laid out our towels and mats on the ground, got acquainted with each other and the ground rules (late during the first week? 10 push-ups. late during the second week? 20 push-ups. etc.) Then we made our way through a stretching routine. I was familiar with most of them, but not their new, "unique" names. I also quickly began to re-evaluate my wardrobe and make mental notes for which items would be replaced (bulky carhart jacket), kept (leather gloves), or changed (same number of layers, but not as thick).

The push-ups were tough but do-able. What surprised me was the difficulty of just staying arms-locked in the upright position. Normally, I bang out my reps of push-ups quickly. Staying in the upright position and fighting gravity was a new endurance challenge.

After the push-ups we moved to crunches, more stretches and then did a set of 15 modified bicep curls and tricep curls using child-sized monkey bars. Here is where I was glad that I had done some advance preparation. My form was perfect and it made things a lot easier. I think if I hadn't already been working out for 2 1/2 months in advance, I would have been a wreck.

Afterwards we did bench dips, which I really enjoyed. Normally I do my tricep exercises after I've already exhausted the muscle. I was thrilled to see that when I'm not exhausted, I can actually do tricep exercises. Not everyone shared my enthusiasm. The women recruits particularly so.

We finished up with some more stretches and were sent on our way with "homework": 25 push-ups/50 crunches before bed.

I got home, walked the dogs (something I *never* do in the morning), and got to work 15 minutes early. Felt pretty good. Realized that evening, that time management, was going to be a priority. By the time, I got home, finished dishes and chores, it was time to run out to the gym. By the time I was finished with that - AND - my boot camp homework, it was 10 o'clock.

Didn't get to bed until 11 and we needed to be there early the next day. Tuesday's and Thursday's are our run days, and I was going to need all the pre-stretching I could muster. So of course I spent the first part of the night reminding myself that I needed to get to sleep immediately. It didn't arrive until after Midnight.
posted at 8:41 AM

  After having tried it unsuccessfully several years ago, I decided to give the local workout craze here in the DC-area, "The Sergeant's Program", another try. Back in the day, I was far less disciplined than I am now, and also tried to do too much/too soon, ended up with shin splints and had to drop out.

Now, since I've been working out six days a week (3 days cardio/3 days lifting), and I've been on the "Couch to 5K beginners running program", I decided to give it another try. Remember that whole list of things that I've always wanted to do but never got around to finishing? This is one of them. I reached back into the mental dustbin of unfinished business and for some reason, getting up at 5:15 in the morning to workout was there near the top of the list. Go figure.

I started by having a fitness assessment performed at one of the local rec facilities. (Which luckily enough is not only 15 minutes from the house, but the site of the class itself.) The test consisted of push-ups (27 in one minute), sit-ups (27 in one minute. ouch!) and a heart-rate evaluation done by doing a 3-minute stair-step test. I thought the last one would be a killer because instead of the cute little low-steps that you see people using for their aerobic classes at the gym, I was actually climbing up onto a park bench, which as I quickly found out is significantly higher. The good news is that my heart rate only got to 150 (the target range) and dropped back to 110 after a minute (very good). So without much further ado, I was signed up for "boot camp" which would begin three days later on Monday.

I had to get up early for the fitness assessment, got up early the following day to fly out to Chicago, and got up early again the following day to fly back. I think without this pre-preparation for waking up before the crack of dawn several days in advance, I would have been in a world of hurt for the first day of class itself.
posted at 8:11 AM