The new home of "The Frank Report."

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  Spent most of this morning sitting on the side of the Rt.234 entrance ramp outside of Manassas trying to get my car to restart. A Jesus-freak gave me a ride to the local trash dump (don't ask) so I could use the recycling phone (don't ask) to call for a tow. By the time I jogged back (in cowboy boots) the car started up and made it home just fine. Although I'm getting pretty annoyed at making trips out to the barn to go riding and not getting to ride.

The war is on and the area is torn between the sit-home-watch-CNN types and the get-out-and-bike-rake-the-yard types. Otherwise DC is as normal as it ever is.

Yesterday, Union Station was a mad-house as everybody and his brother tried to catch a train out of town. Not a "we're going to die" type of exodus but more "I've got better places to be than here on the weekend" type. The tourists, mostly high schoolers, are leaving and that will hurt the economy even more which has only just begun to recover from the tourist crash of 2001-2002. The good news is that seating will be more plentiful for lunch.

See? There's always a bright side.

posted at 12:28 PM

  Both from people on-the-ground in Iraq

an Iraqi-civilian blogger

and

a US-military blogger

Can't guarantee how frequently these will be updated or on-line for obvious reasons
posted at 10:59 AM

  Really need to do something heroic (read: drastic) about my forearms which were sore from wrist to elbow last night. A lack of forearms is one of the factors impeding my back development and I'm wondering if there's some sort of brace/appliance/strap/steroid that I can use to support them while I work the much more important muscle group.

Much of my time the last few days has been taken up with chores, keeping up with the news, and spring cleaning, so nothing terribly new to report. Caught a ride to work today (thank G-d, that tractor guy is gone) and by using the Memorial bridge rather than the 14th was able to avoid a hellacious amount of traffic - and got to work on time for once.

Did some minor maintenance on the page yesterday - reorganizing links. Next up: replacing the cheese box photos with something new. Currently considering whether or not to upgrade and post photos on the site. Reading me is one thing but visuals? Who needs that. Honestly. ; )

More to come post-day-one of gulf war two.

posted at 8:05 AM

  Yesterday's traffic jam, as I'm sure you've heard, was due to some idiot farmer driving his tractor into the reflecting pool in protest. Which raises the question: if one idiot on a tractor can bring the whole city to its knees, what's going to happen when the anti-war folks or terrorists get up in arms about Iraq. Serves me right for not using mass transit, I suppose. Mea culpa for my environmental sins.

I'm not the only one noticing the increase of chopper and fighter flights over the city, it's now in the papers. Without any fanfare, we're back to being under constant patrol by fighter jets.

But the truly take-the-cake news of the weird comes from my foray at the parking garage yesterday. I came back to my car to find a printed message on my windshield claiming that I was in a "no-parking zone" (this in a public parking garage), addressing me by name (meaning they somehow have the capability of running my license plate), and that parking there in the future would result in being towed. Maybe it's just me, but if I'm a public pay-for-parking garage (Central Parking), threatening to tow people for parking and paying (Central Parking) is not the brightest business strategy (Central Parking). It's known around town that Central Parking relies almost exclusively on Ethiopian immigrants to staff their facilities so now my social security number, name, address and license plate number are in the hands of one or more of these immigrants (who may or may not be legal). How is being placed at risk for identity theft supposed to make me or the nation any safer? And since when, and under whose authority, did Central Parking decide that they have the right to my name and to perform a background check just to parking my frigging car?

People are canceling their trips and I expect the crowd at the gym tonight to be lighter than normal.

posted at 8:10 AM

  The Army (Air Force?) uses a helicopter to patrol the new, restricted airspace corridors over DC. Yesterday it was out in force over Arlington; hovering low to the ground, circling between Rt. 50 and I-395, sounding for all intents and purposes as if it was just about to land in the backyard. Yes, it's that loud. Post-rush hour, fighter jets began to take off from Andrew's Air Force Base across the river, tens of miles away, breaking sound barriers all over town.

Last night, the roads and the gym were empty. It warmed my heart to see the aerobic elite taking a break from their Sissyphean treadmills to cluster around the lounge TV and watch Bush's speech. You couldn't watch the speech on the TV's in the gym proper because the music (as always) was turned up so loud. "I love you bayyyyy-beeeeeee," some pop-40 diva blared out from every ceiling tile in stereophonic unison, professing her love for the Bush Doctrine, last chances, the breakdown of the Security Council and pre-emptive attacks.

Post-workout, I stood out on the sidewalk with the dogs and listened. I could hear leaves across the street in the breeze like tumbleweeds in a Texas town at high noon. No dogs barking. No steady hum of highway traffic. No engines gunning as the socially single raced from gym to party to cappuccino lounge. Just complete silence and the glow of TV tubes and table lamps behind every living room window.

This morning, traffic was backed up so bad on I-395, I thought protestors had formed a human chain across the highway. No such drama, just construction. A five mile journey, that at the best of times can take 15 minutes, took instead 1.75 hours. Times like those make me wish my car had a radio.

In the parking garage, I was greeted by the new "security procedures": in addition to my $15, I have to give my name. I gave the lady a fake name that she couldn't spell and went on my way. News flash to private businesses: you may be able to deny me service, that's your right, but you don't need my name or ID unless you're a parking garage on Capitol Hill, near the white house, or in some high risk industry like the airlines. Let's get real, shall we?

For lunch, someone lost their camera bag, and as a result, everyone had to be evacuated from half of the restaurant while a bomb sniffing dog was brought in to give us the all-clear.

And that, gentle readers, is a typical day under orange alert in the nation's capitol.

posted at 10:56 AM

  That's my nickname for many of the staffers at the certain Federal agency where I work. Each day is a new basket of horrors and I don't know how much longer it can last. For instance, I was standing at the urinal just a little while ago when a gentleman came up to the urinal next to me. Nothing unusual about that. Happens all the time. And began picking his nose. Which I politely tried to ignore. But I couldn't help but notice (WARNING: graphic details ahead) that he was picking the contents out, examining them and then dropping them into the urinal one after another.

This type of idiosyncratic (and I'm being unduly polite here) behavior is commonplace in FedWorld.

Yesterday, the guy next to me was mumbling to himself - carrying on a complete conversation with either himself, the wall, or his equipment.

The bathroom in question is unusable after 2 pm - that's after all the"high octane" employees have made their visit and the air is absolutely unbreathable. I've been to outdoor privies that were less fragrant. And don't forget the splatters of urine on the floor, overflow water around the toilets, and piles upon piles of discarded paper towels.

People have shred newspapers and left them like the lining of a hamster cage around toilets. More common is using the sanitary seat covers and not flushing them after use. (Why! Oh L-rd, Why!)

Employees hipchecking me into walls, barreling through elevator doors, not having washed their hair or clothes for several days, walking in random patterns down hallways (15 foot wide hallways, mind you) so that no one can pass, walking 5 abreast down a hallway, stopping in doorways or at the bottom of crowded escalators so that no one can pass - - these are all commonplace occurrences.

So if you're the type of person who places a great deal of faith in Federal programs and bureaucracy, ask yourself this: if they can't even flush the toilet, how are they supposed to run the nation? (/rant off)


posted at 10:39 AM